Don’t Blame Yourself as a Mother

We as Mothers…

Please do not blame yourself for your child’s Microtia and Atresia, Hemifacial Microsomia, Treacher Collins, or Goldenhar Syndrome. When my daughter, Ally, was born I could not help but wonder what did I eat, what did I drink, what did “I” do wrong to cause my daughter’s right ear and ear canal to be under developed. It is very important that you know not to blame yourself as a mother.

Most of us chose to eat healthy, yet indulging in that piece of chocolate cake from time to time. Some of us exercised, maybe took a Yoga class or worked out lightly so we could be healthy during our pregnancy. Many of us slept evenly on both sides, or not too much on one side, and not on our backs. Some of us ate only organic foods while some of us at our favorite foods like Mexican, Italian, and Chinese from the restaurants down the street. Some of us traveled lightly by plane, some not at all, and some of us flew right up to our delivery date. Some of us were diabetic, had gestational diabetes or came close to having it, and some of us had nothing of the sort. Some of us may have eaten in a foreign country. Some of us may have had spring or mineral water in our very own home. Many of us chose to take prenatal vitamins and supplements while others chose to take nothing at all and not pollute their systems.

I can tell you that I even had quad screenings done and 3D ultrasounds just to make sure everything was alright, and yet nothing was detected. My point is that all of us can spend a life time wondering what we did wrong and never finding the answer. We all used different shampoos, skin products, tooth paste, lotions, etc… Maybe some of you fell during your pregnancies, where as others didn’t. There are just too many variables to weed out that would “maybe” point to something that “may” have caused this to happen. It is just not healthy to blame yourself, when chances are you did nothing wrong. I, just as most of you, realize that we were responsible for our babies when we carried them in utero. However, if you know and believe that you did everything right, then you can not possibly blame yourself. We can choose to carry the guilt around with us, but it will not change anything and it won’t make anything better. For all of the moms out there who didn’t dye their hair during their pregnancy or who did, or who maybe sipped that one ounce of wine that one time or who never touched any alcohol during their entire pregnancy, or who maybe ran marathons during their pregnancy or to the mom who took it easy and just relaxed, it doesn’t matter because we all did different things and we all still had babies with the same or similar results. So, please don’t blame yourself. Love your babies, enjoy them, and make the happiest lives you possibly can for them.

Did you know that even animals can be born with Microtia and Atresia?

Below are some images that hopefully will make you feel better if you really believe you ate something or did something during your pregnancy that may have caused your child’s ears to be missing.  I doubt the animal mothers of these little ones ate something that caused their little ones to have little ears.  Sometimes, things just randomly happen.

There are also little butterflies that have been labeled with the genus name of Microtia.  I just thought I would share this with all of you. I found this on bugguide.net 🙂 Our children are butterflies! They are all beautiful, just like a butterfly called Microtia. xx Melissa

“Unknown small orange butterfly in the California desert – Microtia dymas – Male
Palm Desert, Riverside County, California, USA
May 20, 2010
Size: 3/4″ total width
This small butterfly is common in late spring in parts of the Colorado desert of So. California. The butterflies were on a variety of plants including chuparosa, brittlebush, and creosote at about 1,000 ft elev. on the northern (desert) foothills of the Santa Rosa Mountains. I saw dozens of this species the morning I took this photo. I have seen this species for years, but I’ve never known what species this is so I’d like to finally identify it.”
– bugguide.net